Why a crowd sourcing app for discovering infidelity is a bad idea
I ran into news of this app that claims to help you find out if your partner is seeing someone else apart from you. I first got wind of this on WebtrendsNg. It may sound all good and dandy to you, but sit back and let’s have a no holds barred tete-a-tete about this.
One of the core rules to follow if you want your relationship to last is to ignore what third parties have to say about what they saw your partner doing. “I saw uncle at Yaba Hotels with one babe like that”, et al. You see, such information are not always accurate or delivered with the best of intentions. Even where they are, while the evidence may look bad, their conclusion (or yours) is not necessarily correct.
Let’s start with a statement from the site’s FAQ on how the app works:
At the heart of the system is a search engine. You start by entering the email address or phone number of the person you are dating or the person you want to check on. We then search in our records if there is any matching. Once we find a matching, we put you in contact with the other people who know this person (ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, or current husband or mistress). Then you can get first hand facts from those people to make up your mind.
So, this app wants you to trust others (sometimes total strangers) to tell you what your partner is doing. Am I the only one who has a problem with that?
Here’s a scenario that has been played out again and again in human history. You are a woman and in a relationship with this uber guy. Lots of other ladies would love to have him to themselves. Some of them have tried and failed, and so there is “beef” (read: bitter envy) hanging in the air. Because you know that he is highly desirable (and you are stupid), you go to this site/app and enter his phone number and/or email address in some crowd sourcing app to find out if he is dating someone else or has gone sowing wild oats.
You get feedback from five to six bitchy, envy-driven ladies who claim that your guy is dating them all. Wait. What’s six to seven? You get feedback from one – just one – lady who claims that your guy is dating her or has eaten from her garden. Whatever your conclusion is, seeds of distrust and doubt have been sown in your heart. You have put your happiness on the line because you are stupid. Sooner or later, things fall apart between the two of you, and the desperate lady works her way into your guy’s heart. He becomes hers (or someone else’s), and only because you were stupid. We can re-write the above scenario from the guy’s side too. Stupidity is still the name of the game.
The quote from the app website says: “Then you can get first hand facts from those people to make up your mind.” First hand facts? Who verifies and certifies these “facts”? Just visit Twitter to find out how “facts” are made up on a whim. Also, I doubt that a lot of people will find it easy making up their minds. The feedback from this site/app will often result in confusion.
Here’s another quote from the website:
If you are in a serious relationship with a person, you can use Qoqoriqo to tell the whole word that this person is taken. People searching for your partner will land on a dedicated page where you’ll display information about your loved one. It’ll discourage most of contenders.
Are you kidding me? Knowing that a person is in a serious relationship will discourage most contenders? This is 2012, people. People know you’re married (M.A.R.R.I.E.D) and still hit on you anyway. Actually, these days, the more taken people are, the more desirable they often are. Does that tell you something? If someone finds your partner desirable, knowing that they are in a relationship with you will not change anything. There is enough proof of that all around.
Oh! And let us not forget that this search engine simply means that whoever is behind this is developing a huge database of emails and phone numbers. Yes; that too.
Anyway, you know me, the adventurer. I decided to run a check to find out if one of my many girlfriends was two-timing me. So I entered her number in the Qoqoroqo search box and got feedback that said, “We don’t have any records on 0023480xxxyyyy yet”. Nice. No-one knows about my boo yet. No?
But here is the catch. Just below that feedback, I was encouraged to register to find out what the person’s contacts are saying about her. Then, below that was this:
If, You are the person with this ‘email’ or ‘phone’, and you have things to hide, Put yourself on the whitelist to be invisible. Start at $99/year. Whitelist this person now.
Simply put, the website/app’s stated objective of helping you find out if your life partner is cheating on you is pure and plain bullshit. This website is actually willing to help people cover their tracks for a nice sum. Duh!
I told you that you’d be a fool (read: very stupid) to rely on such a lame idea as this to find out if your partner is playing you. You see, if your partner got there before you, he/she could become a ghost for just $99 per year.
Now, where’s my MasterCard? I’ve been a bad boy and I need to make it all go away. Hurry! Go cover your tracks too at Qoqoriqo.